Standing Still

So Angel di Maria has signed for Real Madrid. That's nice. Meanwhile, Manchester United continues to do nothing.

If there is one player I want, it is Robinho. I think he is incredibly talented and would thrive at United. Sure, he is technically City scum right now. I think playing for Santos and Brazil has helped wash the city stink off him.

I'm confident in our strikers, but I feel like we could use some added creativity from midfield. I say we go for it.

Tomorrow's picks:

Paraguay-1
Japan-0

Portugal-3
Spain-2

For a team of really classy players, Spain really lacks class. I'm tired of seeing them dive, slap and cry. Seriously, no mas. I think a just punishment for the behavior of the Spainish (yes, Spainish) players is an early elimination. After that, I will stop being mad at them. Well, except for David Villa.

I don't curse on this blog, so EFF DAVID VILLA. I'm so sick of him. I really wish he played for Real Madrid so I could hate him even more. My issues with him will carry on long after he has left South Africa. He is now one of my most hated players.

Look, like Charlie Murphy said, you don't slap a man. I commend Emilio Izaguirre for not retaliating. Hondurans usually have temper issues.

Also, Cristiano Ronaldo is my boy. And yes, I understand how stupid it is to say I love Ronaldo after complaining about diving and crying.

I don't care. I love him.

Damn Shame What They Did to England (And Mexico)

Look, I get it, mistakes happen. The referees didn't mean to cheat England or Mexico, they just made mistakes.

The frustrating thing is that the technology exists to easily correct these mistakes.

What really kills me is that people see the scorelines 4-1 and 3-1 and assume the goals are insignificant because the games were one-sided. That's just ridiculous.

Goals completely change games. England was forced to commit too many men forward in search of an equalizer. This led to quick counters by Germany and easy goals. Mexico also seemed to unravel after giving up that first goal.

It's ridiculous that two quarterfinal games were overshadowed by mistakes that could have been overturned easily.

Whatever.

Netherlands-3
Slovakia-0

Brazil-3
Chile-1

Too Nervous For This

England-3
Germany-1

Argentina-4
Mexico-1

R-R-R-Round 2!

It's time for the real good stuff! Every game is now an elimination game. No more ties!

I didn't do so well in my predictions, but hopefully I can turn things around now. Probably not, because I refuse to put away my biases.

Uruguay-2
South Korea-0

I really like South Korea, but Uruguay is just playing so well right now. I've always believed Uruguay had the offensive talent, but I was shocked by how good their defense has been. I don't think South Korea is good enough going forward to break Uruguay down.

Ghana-2
USA-1

Obviously, I don't think much of the United States. I think the team was lucky to get a draw with England, gave up two goals to Slovenia (whose only other goal came courtesy of a goalkeeping error by Algeria) and took more than 90 minutes to break down Algeria. I don't care what Alexi Lalas says, this team is just not that good.

Also, keep an eye on Asamoah Gyan of Ghana. Why? Because the commentators always say he's "just 24 years old." Please. If that guy is 24, I'm about to turn 13. I dare you to look at him and tell me he looks 24.

Hamlet Joke

Denmark failed today, but then what more could be expected from a team with Nicklas Bendtner on it?

Here's what I have for the last group games:

Portugal-1
Brazil-1

Evil Korea-0
Costa de Marfil-3

Honduras-2
Switzerland-1

Spain-3
Chile-1

I Want To Apologize To...

John Terry.

Yes, it hurts. As much as I hate him, he was just massive today.

Unfortunately, Wazza was not. His wastefulness really cost England because one more goal would have meant a game against Ghana instead of Germany.

On a really sad note, Serbia is gone. This means no more of Nemanja Vidic, my favorite eastern European ever.

These games are seriously stressing me out too much. Thankfully, I don't expect that much drama tomorrow.

Paraguay-2
New Zealand-0

New Zealand has really surprised me, but they won't touch Paraguay.

Denmark-2
Japan-1

Denmark should advance.

Cameroon-1
Netherlands-3

Both of these teams are playing for nothing. Netherlands is better. Easy peazy.

Dear John Terry

Please shut up and go away. Seriously, stop trying to play captain.

Put your head down. Do your job.

Well, that's out of the way.

I almost got really sad today because South Korea came extremely close to being eliminated. It would have been a tragedy if either Nigeria or Greece advanced. Those teams just aren't as good as Good Korea.

I was disappointed today that Chicharito Hernandez is still not starting for Mexico. I don't understand what Javier Aguirre sees in Guille Franco, whom I have officially nicknamed Donkey. Aguirre made an even weirder move today by starting Cuauhtemoc Blanco, who is too old and slow to be effective at this level. He then took Blanco off and replaced him with Chicharito. If he wanted to strikers, why not start Donkey and Chicharito?

Whatever.

I'm really nervous about tomorrow's games, because I will be genuinely heartbroken if Wazza has to go home.

England-2
Slovenia-0

No way England doesn't make it out of this group, right?

United States-1
Algeria-1

I really don't like the American team. I think the players struggle when they're not underdogs because they think too highly of themselves. It happened against Slovenia, and I expect it to happen again against Algeria. England and Slovenia go through.

Germany-2
Ghana-0

Germany just knows how to win these games.

Australia-0
Serbia-2

What's that coming over the hill, is it Nemanja? Is it it Nemanja?

New Rules

Apparently you can just hit dudes in the face if you're from Spain. Whatever.

France-2
South Africa-0

Oh, speaking of things that are a disgrace, what is up with France? All I know is that I would have expected better from Patrice Evra. The saddest part is that I think so little of South Africa that I am still picking France to win.

Mexico-1
Uruguay-2

I don't think these teams will settle for a draw because they are both keen to avoid Argentina in the next round. I think Uruguay will win, but both teams will advance.

South Korea-2
Nigeria-0

Nigeria is just really, really bad.

Argentina-3
Greece-0

Greece is almost as bad as Nigeria.

Ruh Roh

That is how Scooby Doo would perfectly describe how I feel about tomorrow. Honduras is in for a hurting.

Portugal-2
Evil Korea-0

Portugal must win this game to advance, and I think they will. I'm a little worried about this game because Evil Korea is very sound defensively and Portugal has had real problems scoring, but I think Ronaldo will lead his team to victory.

Chile-2
Switzerland-0

Chile likes to attack. Switzerland likes to defend. That pretty much sums up this game I think.

Spain-4
Honduras-0

May God have mercy on Honduras.

Cameroon, We Hardly Knew Ye

So Cameroon lost to Denmark today, becoming the first team eliminated from the World Cup.

I was pretty surprised that people actually expected Cameroon to have a decent showing at this tournament. The team just seemed to be a mess heading in, and then the loss to Japan cemented that.

On to the next day:

Slovakia-0
Paraguay-2

After that draw with New Zealand. I wouldn't pick Slovakia to beat the intramural team I played on last semester. That team had girls on it. Even worse, it had me on it. But we could take New Zealand.

Italy-2
New Zealand-0

I think Italy has serious problems, but not serious enough to make them sweat against New Zealand. I don't want to feel like I'm picking on New Zealand, so let me just say I loved the Lord of the Rings movies.

Brazil-3
Costa de Marfil-1

Brazil is really good.

Oh, England

I don't even know what to say about England right now. The team is just a mess. Algeria and the United States were both inferior teams that should have been dealt with easily.

Emile Heskey needs to never start, or play, for England ever again. He is entirely useless right now. I'm confident England can beat Slovenia and advance, but not with Heskey in the squad.

On the bright side, my picks haven't been that terrible. Here's what I see tomorrow:

Netherlands-3
Japan-0

Ghana-1
Australia-1

Cameroon-1
Denmark-2

Quick Picks

Yeah, I'm way too into this basketball game to worry about explaining my picks for tomorrow, so here they go:

Germany-1
Serbia-2

Slovenia-0
United States-0

England-3
Algeria-0

So That Happened

Today could not have been any worse for Honduras.

Spain losing to Switzerland means the Spanish players will spend the next few days angry and frustrated. They will take those emotions out on poor little Honduras.

It's going to be a bloodbath.

On to the picks!

Argentina-3
South Korea-1

I am really trying to divorce myself from my biases. South Korea is one of my favorite teams in the tournament because of Park Ji-Sung.

Actually, now seems like a good time to list the teams I'm rooting for in this tournament:

1)Honduras
2)England (Wazza)
3)South Korea
4)Serbia (Nemanja Vidic)
5)Portugal (Cristiano Ronald0)
.
..
...
32)North Korea (Kim Jong-il)

Obviously, it's been a rough start for me. South Korea is the only one of those teams off to a good start, and I can't imagine they will have any joy against Argentina.

Greece-0
Nigeria-0

Honestly, I think both these teams are pretty terrible. It hurts my head to talk about them, so it's not happening.

France-3
Mexico-1

Oops, prejudices are back. I hate Mexico. I refuse to believe Mexico can get a result against France, even this terrible version of Les Bleus. I only gave Mexico one goal because I want Chicharito to score. Also, I'm assuming Conejo will remain in goal, and he's terrible. If Memo Ochoa starts Mexico has a better chance. He's one of three Mexican players I don't hate, along with Chicharito and Andres Guardado.

Cuauhtemoc Blanco is still the devil, and I hate him even more for yelling at Chicharito. Exactly what did you add to that game that you felt you had the right to try to dress down one of the younger players right on the field? You are out of shape and useless. Please go home.

Honduras?

So, the next World Cup game is Honduras vs Chile.

Honduras. In a World Cup game. Not on PlayStation 3.

Yeah, it's on.

How am I going to sleep?

Anyway, my picks have been terrible. Obviously, I don't know anything about soccer. Well, not really. The real reason my picks are awful is that I have a lot of biases built up from watching so much soccer. For example, I hate Didier Drogba and Salomon Kalou. Also, I love Cristiano Ronaldo. So I will probably pick Portugal to get a draw against Brazil and Ivory Coast to tie North Korea. Whatever. I'd rather be wrong than want Drogba to have any kind of success.

That being said, I'm picking Honduras for tomorrow.

Honduras-2
Chile-1



Sure, that wasn't a penalty. But Chile can be beat. There is no reason Honduras should fear this team. Even without Costly and Rambo, I think Honduras can win this game.

Spain-3
Switzerland-0

I don't know why I keep expecting there to be goals in this tournament. I'm sure the Swiss will play very negative and try to get a 0-0 result. Spain should be able to break them down with all those pretty little passes. If not, well then I just don't know anything.

What, there's a third game? Oh, OK.

South Africa-0
Uruguay-2

Uruguay is not going to be as negative as in the first game, and Suarez and Forlan are more than capable than punishing Bafana Bafana. I can't imagine South Africa will manage another surprising result.

Lazy

OK so my picks have truly been terrible. Also, I've been just throwing them out there without explaining them, so I'll be better about that.

I feel reasonably confident that I will get all three of the results right for tomorrow's games. So that means I will probably get all of them wrong.

New Zealand-0
Slovakia-2

Funny story: I think New Zealand is the worst team in the World Cup, but it beat Serbia, which is a team I think can make the semi-finals. So I'm really wrong about one of these teams. Based on the game against Ghana, I'm guessing it was Serbia. Slovakia actually has a decent chance to advance and I'm excited to see what Marek Hamsik can do.

Costa de Marfil-1
Portugal-2

I like saying Ivory Coast in Spanish, so from now on that is how I will be saying it on this blog. If Didier Drogba plays, he won't be effective. If he doesn't, the team can't replace him. I originally thought there would be a lot of goals in this game, but apparently in this World Cup three goals means it's a shootout.

Also, I still kind of have a thing for Cristiano Ronaldo because he played for Manchester United.

Brazil-3
North Korea-0

There isn't really much I can say about this one. All I can say is, in the spirit of Charles Barkley, I don't know anything about North Korean players, but they're in for a hurting. Brazil is just too good.

Germany Still Sucks

OK, Germany looked pretty great today, but I still hate that team so I will remain in denial. To be fair, Australia was pretty terrible.

Today was a pretty terrible World Cup day for me because I genuinely hate seeing Germany do well. Also, one of the teams I'm really rooting for, Serbia, fell flat.

Here are my picks for tomorrow:

Netherlands-3
Denmark-1

Japan-1
Cameroon-1

Italy-1
Paraguay-2

Blerg

I won't be writing today because I won't be able to hide my bitterness about today's result.

So here are my terrible picks for tomorrow:

Slovenia-1
Algeria-0

Serbia-2
Ghana-0
Headers won by Nemanja Vidic- 1000

Germany-2
Australia-0

Rough Start

OK so that was pretty terrible. In hindsight, I should have stuck with a draw in the opener and I should have known Raymond Domenech is a terrible manager.

The South Africa-Mexico match was about what I expected. However, both teams really needed three points. Neither will make it out of the group stage.

Uruguay impressed me defensively. I thought for sure France would be able to score at least twice. I know part of that is France being toothless up top, but I feel pretty confident about Uruguay and France advancing.

On to tomorrow:

South Korea-1
Greece- 0

This game could easily be incredibly boring and end 0-0. I don't usually hate watching specific teams, but I hate watching Greece. I hate the incredibly negative brand of football employed by Otto Rehhagel. I don't know much about South Korea, but I do know that Ji-Sung Park, one of my favorite players ever, is the captain, so I will be hoping he can lead his country to a victory.

Argentina-3
Nigeria-1

This result seems pretty generous to Nigeria, actually. Even with Crazy Diego in charge, Argentina should be able to score at least three goals. In fact, Argentina could sit Messi, Tevez and Higuain and score three goals with Kun Aguero, Diego Milito and Martin Palermo up top.

England-3
USA-0

ESPN will have you believe that this is a huge rivalry game and that the two teams are closer in talent than people think. It isn't, and they aren't. Yes, the United States could win, but it would take a terrible game from England. And yes, Alexi Lalas, it would be a huge upset. The last time these two teams played, England won 2-0, and it really wasn't that close. Has the United States gotten better in the last two years? Sure, but so has Wayne Rooney.

I just don't think the two teams are evenly matched at all and England should stroll.

Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe all the confidence Jozy Altidore picked up by sitting on the Hull City bench watching the England players play in the Premier League will help him.

Good luck with that.

Christmas Time!

Seriously, I'm so excited. Tomorrow is like Christmas, only better.

It seems like I've been waiting forever for this tournament to start. I might not even be able to sleep tonight.

I will be blogging my picks for all the games the day before they happen, as well as any reactions from that day's games. So today I will be writing about the two games taking place tomorrow.

South Africa-1
Mexico-1

I keep changing my mind about this game. I know Mexico is a better team with better players all over the field. I also know the atmosphere is going to be insane. I would be shocked if the crowd didn't lift the South African players to a higher level. I wanted to pick South Africa to win, but I guess I'm not brave enough. Actually, forget it:

South Africa-2
Mexico-1

Yeah, they're going to do it. They have to, right? Don't answer that.

I know Mexico should be able to control possession and generate chances, but who is going to finish them? Carlos Vela, Giovanni Dos Santos and Chicharito Hernandez are all talented, but they're also very young. Guille Franco is experienced, but he's also not talented. I just imagine the moment being too big for them.

But seriously, how great would it be if Chicharito scored like ten goals?

France-3
Uruguay-2

I know France has been pretty terrible, but they'll be able to score against Uruguay. I also think Uruguay can score because they are so talented offensively. I'm hoping for an open, entertaining shootout.

"Open Wide For Some Soccer" Explained

This is where the name of this blog comes from:

What A Bloody Shambles That Was

Wow. Honduras was shocking today. I mean, incredibly terrible. A 3-0 defeat to a team that did not qualify for the World Cup and is not featuring its top players is just embarrassing.

I know it is a friendly, so the result matters, not the performance. But the performance was atrocious.

Anyway instead of focusing on the problems, of which there are many, I will propose one solution: Andy Najar.

Who is Andy Najar?



Najar is an exciting 17-year-old attacking midfielder for D.C. United. According to a story on ESPN Soccernet, he came to the United States at 13. He has gotten in some games recently and impressed.

I know the World Cup is not the place to get your first cap, but if one of the Honduran players is injured and unable to participate in South Africa, he should be the first guy brought in.

He won't solve any of our defensive problems, but at least he will give us something extra going forward. Sure the defense is awful, but Honduras was also unable to breakdown Azerbaijan or Romania.

Azerbaijan, really.

If Wilson Palacios is seriously injured, Hendry Thomas can replace him as the steel in midfield. Honduras can then play a 4-5-1 formation, with David Suazo as the forward. That would allow us to play more of our talented midfielders. The same can be done if Suazo is not fit, by replacing him with Carlos Pavon.

The point is Najar would not be a starter. He'd be able to come in for a 30-minute spell to help out the attack if necessary. Honestly, I really wish he were on the team instead of Pery Martinez, who provides less than nothing.

One last point about Najar, notice how in that video he was called "the future of American soccer." He was born in Honduras and lived there most of his life. Despite going to an American high school, he still speaks through a translator during interviews, presumably because his comfort level with English is not that high. He is Honduran. As much as American fans love to complain about Giuseppe Rossi, they would have no shame about stealing Najar if he becomes eligible to play for the United States.

That is why we need to get him his first cap as soon as possible.

Picks Competition

So I'll be doing my predictions on Yahoo! and anyone who wants to participate in my official Open Wide For Some Soccer picks group is invited to join.

This link should be all you need to sign up: http://y.ahoo.it/O2EdDj2w

The password is "iheardthat".